Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mixed emotions.

Now I know I'm not really one to dwell on my feelings or emotions or really talk about anything serious here, but there is no way I can't talk about last night and this morning.

When the tallies started coming in I was still at work and constantly refreshing the CNN page to get updates and stats on the states as they were coming in. Once 6:30 rolled around I was on my way , but not heading home to follow the results, rather to go walking with my mom. In the "freezing" weather and muddyish track we went walking. I got to have a nice chat with my mom, get in some more marathon training and all around relax. When we were done I drove my mom home then headed home myself just in time to hear that Barack Obama had been officially deemed our next president. I was exhausted from walking but elated for the win.



My neighbor came over to celebrate and even Matt (who's libertarian) was happy about the win. We couldn't help but be excited and watch all the people in Grant Park and Spellman and Centruy City and everywhere else in America celebrating and screaming and hugging and crying, it was amazing. And once Barack came out with his family I couldn't do anything but smile. When he started his speech all I could think of was "wow I may actually listen to our president now, this man knows how to captivate an audience." We all listened, we all let out the occasional wow and we were all proud. But at the same time I know we were all thinking how open Grant Park is, wondering if he was wearing a bullet proof vest, hoping that the worst would never come.

And luckily it didn't. All we saw was a man about to make a change to this country and we couldn't be prouder.

However, when I was watching the news this morning and they showed clips of his speech again I started to cry. I didn't cry at all last night and I had no idea what was causing the tears this morning. Was I just that happy for this man to take charge of our broken country? Or was I just that sad that our country could elect this man to run our country but not support the unity of any two people in marriage?

To me the ban on gay marriage is exactly the same as the ban that was put on interracial marriage decades ago. A black man and white woman were prohibited to get married no matter what. And why was that you ask? We don't chose our race, we don't chose our skin color, but we do choose the people we love and why should anyone else deny you of that right? Why?


Clearly our country is en route to some big changes and I hope they somehow continue to be for the better, somehow...




happy wednesday!

39 comments:

Ben said...

Really though. I'm so tired of people pretending that Prop 8 is about anything other than depriving people of their civil rights. I'm amazed that some people just can't see that.

The Ex said...

Exactly. It saddens me that we made this HUGE step forward in one are and not in the other.

Jen said...

I'm so glad you mentioned about the bullet proof vest. I swear I thought the same thing and will continue to pray for his safety. Yes, it is very sad about Prop 8. Hopefully, over time this will be one more discrimination that will go by the wayside. Thanks for your post.

Rachel said...

i'm 110% with ben on this one. i just don't understand, and it makes me SO VERY ANGRY that we can deny a loving couple the same rights that everyone else has. it makes me angry that states like arizona can ban a gay couple from adopting a child, because you know... a loving family, no matter the kind, is so much worse than where they are taking that child from. two steps forward, one step back. we'll get there, just have faith...

thatShortChick said...

ok, you have totally been walking around in my brain this morning. I have thought these exact thoughts:

the bullet proof vest/security thing, the beauty of his family, the eloquence of his words, and the unfortunate results on Prop 8.

how can we, as a people, deprive the rights of others? it all blows my mind away at the sheer ignorance that is still so present.

Ashley said...

this is exactly how i feel.

Deutlich said...

The Prop 8 thing is really, really upsetting. And it really IS discrimination.

Sandy said...

I completely agree

Abby said...

Well Said........

Emily said...

this was perfectly said...i've been so overwhelmed with emotion, but this morning i was so saddened to hear about prop 8. one step at a time i guess...

Mandy said...

I agree, it feels like a step forward in one direction and two steps back in the other area.

Jenn said...

I was thinking the same thing about Obama and Grant Park last night.

rs27 said...

I blame the people in torrance.

Why Torrance?

just because.

Angela said...

Oh my god.

Did Yes on Prop 8 really happen?

Since I go to school in Pennsylvania, I didn't follow any of California's results, even though I'm still a registered California voter (I got my absentee ballot in last week). This makes me so incredibly sad. It's a right for every American to be happy, and two gay people in love should have the right to be happy and get married. I can't believe this.

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

well said katelin.

i'm not even american, but it's still been so emotional.

one giant step forward in one regard, and one giant step back in another.

i'm happy, and hurting.

dmb5_libra said...

yes, very happy about obama...sad about prop 8.

theycallmecurlysue said...

I completely agree. I don't think allowing same-sex marriage will do anything to hurt anyone or the country----let someone be with who they want and marry who they want! Like you said, this country is hopefully on a path that is leading up, but then we have other things that are pushing us back again. When will it end?!

Dana said...

i feel the same way!!!

WeezerMonkey said...

Agree 100%.

Mega said...

The ACLU is suing to stop this with the support of some Republicans in the state seats. They are less focused on what the amendment is trying to do and more on how it was done. My theory is that the California courts will overturn it all, thereby scrapping Proposition 8. Then it makes its way to the Supreme Court, where who knows what will happen.

An amendment to the state constitution being put forth to a nationwide propositional vote? That is some serious craziness and using loopholes to get something through.

Two parties are to blame here- 1, the CA legislators who let this even get through in the first place and 2, those who voted either way on it.

People should have taken a stand on this nutty way of getting something passed. Hopefully in the end the Supreme Court puts a stop to CA's insane legal system and has them catch up with the rest of the U.S. Then CA can legalize gay marriage the right way, through legislation, not propositions or the courts. Rant over.

Alexa said...

baby steps...

kay* said...

very very well said.

Auburn Kat said...

I feel the exact sameway! It often seems like we are taking steps forwards AND backwards...

sarah marie p said...

I know what you mean ... I'm in a very weird mood today. Sooo happy about Obama but so sad about Prop 8... Change is happening in this country though and eventually gay marriage will be accepted not just in Cali, but throughout the U.S. Can't wait for that day. Gotta keep moving forward...

Laurie said...

I'm shocked about Prop 8. I didn't think it would pass.

It's not right.

San said...

I couldn't agree with you more, Katelin. I am shocked that Prop 8 passed. It's outrageous!

Julie Q said...

i felt terrible when i heard about Prop 8 passing. I wish others could have voted even though it was just for Cali residents.

Penny Lane said...

I cried in his speech too! And I agree with you on the ban of gay marriage. It's depressing that while we're embracing the progress our country has made, we are still oppressing some people and still have so far to go.

zandria said...

I haven't seen the speech, so I'm not sure how I'd feel about it. Sounds like something I need to watch, though. :)

Yay, Obama!

michelle woo said...

This is so well said! I felt the same way -- on just about everything! I didn't feel like crying until watching it all again this morning, I totally was thinking about the bullet-proof vest (because my dad and boyfriend kept mentioning it...annoying!...just embrace the moment) and the whole thing was totally dampened by the passing of Prop 8. Anyway, love your words.

Princess Pointful said...

It was really nice to see this side of you (on top of all the other wonderful sides of you :) ). I am so sad that one enormous step to end discrimination was accompanied by an enormous one for it.

Julie said...

Oh Katelin I know.
I couldn't believe that result.

Just move to MA :)
We rule over here.

Lauren said...

I definitely feel the same way as you. Elated that he won, sad that those amendments were passed. It's so OLD FASHION. It's like saying my boyfriend and I couldn't date because he's Indian. My friend Abel rejoiced when Obama was elected and then called me to mourn because he couldn't get married to his boyfriend. I just didn't know what to say.

Traci Anne said...

Absolutely. To everything you said.

punchanella said...

i couldn't agree more. it's very confusing...

but i'm glad that at least we have a chance of being proud of what our country does. at least, that's how extreme i feel...

Maris said...

It really feels like one step forward, two steps back. The bright side is that nothing is ever final and we see that WE CAN change!

Write on, Court... said...

couldn't agree with you more...
It was such an emotional roller coster for me that night...

Bayjb said...

Being at Grant Park, I didn't cry. I was too hyped up on joy and adrenaline to cry but I sure did Wednesday morning when the reality set in. I just sobbed in my apartment.

rialeilani said...

i think a lot of us feel the exact same way