Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Letters that should be sent.

Dear skank ho Heidi,
You are never ever going to win an Oscar. Keanu Reeves will win an Oscar before you do. So shut your trap and walk away from Hollywood, scratch that, run away! Run back to Colorado and stay. Please?

Sincerely,
Future Academy Award attendee

Dear weather,
Make up your effing mind. It's June isn't it? That means sun you ho, not clouds and drizzles, gah.

Signed,
The girl that just bought two dresses

Dear Barack Obama,
You are the man.

Love,
One happy democrat

Dear Charlotte,
I know you are fictional, but after finally catching up with the female population and seeing Sex and the City last night I heart you even more than when I would watch the show. You seriously made me laugh and want to be your friend all at once. Not saying that I don't love the other girls too, but your loyalty and willingness to tell someone off, truly the sign of a great friend.

Love,
Katelin

Dear Dodgers,
You should probably start winning some more games, just so you know. Maybe just a few? Like I don't know, let's at least get to .500, okay? Sound like a plan? Sweet. Thanks. Okay. Looking forward to a few wins.

Love,
A most loyal fan

Dear gas prices,
Stop going up! Seriously, it's getting a little ridiculous and I don't like it. So really, you can stop now, any time now really.

Sincerely,
A pissed off car owner

Dear morning gym goers,
Please don't talk to me. It's nothing personal, but it's too damn early to have a normal conversation. I'm tired and just want to work out and be on my merry way. So don't be offended if I barely smile or only say hi, it's just because it's before 8 and I'm not really functioning then.

Sincerely,
The spaced out girl at the gym

My dearest parents,
Thank you jeebus for finally getting DVR. You don't know how happy this makes me and how much TV I will probably watch this Summer because of you. But really, why couldn't we get it like six months ago when I still had TV shows to watch and was forced to record on VHS?! Ah! The irony! Alas by the time my shows all come back I'll hopefully be moved out and Matt and I will have our own DVR. Oh well. It is still the thought that counts and I love you dearly for it. So thank you.

Love,
Your TV obsessed daughter

Dear Friday,
Are you here yet? No, you're not? Damn. Okay see you in two days.

Love,
Your biggest fan




happy wednesday!

30 comments:

Angie hearts said...

hahaha.. couldn't agree more!

Lauren said...

Yay for Obama (I was seriously thrilled about that last night)! And yay for Charlotte. She was adorable in the film and definitely someone who i'd love to have as a friend.

dmb5_libra said...

Heh! Kudos on your letter to Heidi, Obama, Gas Prices, and the Morning Gym Goers. nothing worse than someone trying to have a convo with you before 8 am. Its not nature-al.

Sarah Marie said...

OMG! You are so freakin hilarious! I loved, loved, loved these letters! And I completely agree with a bunch of em... crazy Heidi, Obama, Friday...

deutlich said...

Gas is EFFIN RIDICULOUS

blah.

Playful Professional said...

Yeah what's going on with the hail, rain, and tornado watches? This weather is ridiculous. Kind of like gas prices. Is it ever gonna stop?

Traci Anne said...

Something sparked out in my brain at the Heidi comment. Are she and Spencer completely delusional?

Alexa said...

ha! that was cute.

so i wasn't a huge charlotte fan pre movie, but now, LOVE HER.

i want to shave all of heidi's hair off and then force her lips to stay closed so that she can wipe that damn pout off her face.

ok, rant over. : )

Nico said...

lol @ the friday letter. if that were a petition, i'd sign it.

kind of reminds me of this site: http://isittuesday.com/

California Girl said...

I couldn't believe Heidi said that. Stupid skank.

Gas prices suck. Is this a freaking joke?

And this my dear, is June Gloom! Totally normal!

Dolce said...

All day I thought today was Thursday. I was really bumbed out to realize it's Wednesday. Oh well, I can't wait to see SATC...finally.

B2G said...

Oh how I love letters. Also, I LOVED Char in the SATC movie. "I always rooted for you! I curse the day you were born!!! I think my water just broke..." Hahaha....

Julie Q said...

oooo no letter to "The Lakers"? Or are you a closet Celtics fan ;)

damselindigress said...

this was such a cute post, katelin.

it's nice to know that chicago isn't the only little jerkface that doesn't know how to handle the fact that it's JUNE already. le sigh.

also. um. i don't LOVE heidi or anything. but ... i kind of don't HATE her either. i think it's that i love all the unintentional comedy she provides. help?

themoonisdown said...

dear slut-

i love this!

Katie said...

haha one of the funniest and most creative posts I've seen yet!

Missy said...

Awesome post! In particular, loove the petrol prices and morning gym ones. I mean seriously guys. Get your act together!

Jenn said...

I second Heidi & the gas prices!

a little bird said...

I agree, the weather blows lately. Up, down, all around.

Shelley said...

Too cute.

Weather is sucky here in the midwest too. Only it's mid-80's and the humidity rivals a rainforest. Bleh.

Gas prices went down a few cents... which makes me think they are going to get jacked up 20 cents before the weekend. I really hope that's not the case... bc it's beyond ridiculous right now.

And lastly... yay Obama!

Anonymous said...

Hey Katelin,

I absolutely agree about the gas prices, but think of that:

You have to pay $ 4/gallon = $ 1,06/liter. In Germany you would have to pay € 1,50/liter or $ 8,53/gallon!!

So that's really expensive, don't you think?

A really pissed of car owner :-)
(although I love my car)

Daniela

lspoon said...

Isn't DVR the most amazing wonderful invention ever? How did we live without it?

Bogart in P Towne said...

Do you hear the footsteps? Do ya?

The Padres are coming...the Padres are coming...

Michelle & the City said...

YAY for OBAMA!
and DVR is the best invention EVER. seriously. no really, i mean it. :)

Grits said...

Awesome!
Thanks for the congrats!

L Sass said...

Yay Obama! I am ready to get the REAL party started now.

nicoleantoinette said...

I so need to see the SATC movie!!

glamour girly said...

you should definitely send these letters. LOL

{kay} said...

LMAO - these are so hilarous! what a great idea...do you mind if i use it? with full credit to you of course!

Maxie said...

YAY OBAMA!!! I'm so pumped:-)

and heidi needs to crawl into a hole. Seriously...i'd rather hear about paris hilton any day than her.