Thursday, June 5, 2008

Moving on out.

So as you may (or may not) know, Matt and I are planning on moving out of our respective parents' houses soon and in with each other (squee!). Now for me, this is huge. Because not only am I moving in with my boyfriend, but because I'm moving out of my parent's house where I've been residing the past two years since I graduated college... huge I tell you. Now I love my parents and cannot even begin to express how grateful I am that they took me back in and have basically given me access to anything (food, laundry, car washes, etc) since coming home, but at the same time, I want to do it on my own now. My senior year of college was awesome, I was in an on campus apartment with three friends and I cooked for myself, cleaned, did my laundry...hello independence (minus the bill paying part). So moving back home and staying there for so long has been sort of a trip and I'm getting antsy.

But then again, at the same time, I'm freaked out. What if moving out is a dumb idea? What if we should wait until we have more money? What if we have to live off of Ramen noodles for a month? What if we get an evil landlord? What if it's a bad idea to blow money on rent when we could save it for a house? What if, what if what if? So many to think about.

But we want to do it. We want to test the murky waters of housing in California and see what the real estate/apartment gods hand down to us and I think we're ready (despite all my "what if" concerns).

We already have some donated furniture (seriously, our friends are awesome) and random odds and ends to somewhat furnish a place so that's not a huge deal. However I do still want your advice/suggestions/anecdotes/whatever you'd like to tell me:

What tips do you have for moving out? Anything about moving in with a bf/gf? What to look for when surveying places? Where to go to get cheap (but still sort of cute) looking stuff to fill said apartment? 101 Ramen recipes, haha?

I'll take anything and everything you've got. I want to hear it all. You rock. :)

happy thursday!


LBIC said...

I say go for it and move in. If you wait and save for a house and then move in together and it's a disaster. You bought a house together and that's harder to get out of (especially in this market) than an apartment. But on the positive side, it's fun living with a boyfriend. I moved in with my boyfriend after I graduated high school and it was amazing. He ended up moving away and I got my own apartment, but it was nice.

And yeah, I got the 101 ramen recipes and the best one is the chicken lo mein.

B2G said...

Don't be scared about moving in together! If you guys have a healthy relationship it should be great! The biggest thing is communication, seriously. Don't be afraid to tell him you're a little frustrated that he never helps with the laundry, or that you cook all the time. Make it easy for him to tell you what's bugging him too. Check in with each other. It's easy to forget to do that when the other person's always around. COMMUNICATION!

brookem said...

ha, you know, i think there is actually a website or cookbook on 101 ramen recipes!

congrats on the upcoming move! i dont have any big tips... i guess my main piece of advice would just to be to keep your options open, look around for places that are in a good location that feel like "you guys" you know? see what your neighbors are like- your age? little kids? family? etc.

good luck!

Ben said...

You're already starting off well. I think it's important to start fresh in a new place that's yours as a couple. It's different if you move into his apartment or he moves into yours.

Also, learn quickly how to just let it all out instead of keeping things inside. When you're together all the time, it's better to just plow through issues no matter how small and keep trucking. Blow-outs are ugly and unnecessary.

Anonymous said...

How exciting!! I would say now is as good a time as any. You could potentially run into money or landlord problems, but that's life. And you can always move after your lease is up.

I would also say that communication is important when living with a significant other... also compromise is key. Jake and I make "deals" all the time, like, "Okay, if you do the dishes, I'll give you a back rub." I would advise figuring out money issues/budget in advance, so that you know how you're going to pay for shared expenses like rent, bills, food, household supplies, etc. In some ways there are similar issues as with roommates...but you're sleeping with him so there's another dynamic going on. :)

Lacey Bean said...

Totally go for it, as long as you're both ready! I think that Dave and I maybe rushed it a bit (a year and three months of dating) but now we're right in the swing of things and it's awesome.

Furniture is great from TARGET. Seriously. Our whole dining room is basically Target, and we get compliments on it ALL THE TIME.

Ikea is obviously good, but make sure the pieces are sturdy. We got our couch from Jennifer Convertible, it's a love seat because our apt is small, but it's nice material, and a pull out couch so people can stay over.

I would also say that be prepared, because no matter how much time you spend with Matt now, you will still have to get used to living together when it happens. It takes time, but as long as both parties are willing to compromise, it'll turn out great.

And email me if you have any questions!! I love talking about decorating!! perksofbeingajap at gmail dot com.

Anonymous said...

Wow! So exciting. Good for you guys! I say let Ikea be your best friend. If there is one near you, go for it. You can house your entire apartment for dirt cheap. You just need patience because it takes forever to put all their furniture together sometimes. And have patience with each other as well! Good luck!

Heidi said...

awww so exciting!!! Boyfriend and I moved in together because essentially? I was already living there. Paying $800 for an apartment that i was NEVER staying at seemed pointless so we moved in after our 1 year anniversary.

Cheap furniture? Check out Ikea (love their Ektorp series for couches etc..) I found our love seat on craigslist so you can also find quality furniture on there and get a chance to do some bargaining also.

Other supplies? Ikea and target both have super cute stuff for the kitchen and all that jazz.

one tip? Make sure you take time for yourself. Living together can get overwhelming but when you want to snap for him not putting dishes away. Take a deep breath instead of picking a fight. Pick and choose your'll take adjustment but as long you can compromise and communicate well then you two should be fine :) Yay for you!!

p.s. i'm sending out your prize tomorrow...for realz this time! Sorry I'm so slow on the USPS delay... :(

Grits said...

Congrats on moving in with the bf! (I also love that your bf is also named Matt, like mine!) I moved in with my Matt almost 2 years ago and it has been great. It really is a good test for a relationship. I mean if you want to stay with someone after fighting with them or getting aggravated over who left dirty dishes in the sink, and who's more messy, then it's a good sign. Sometimes I can get so frustrated but at the same time not want to be anywhere else in the world, ya know?
As far as the apartment hunt goes, check out the place at different times of day to make sure the area is nice and there isn't crime in the neighborhood. Also, see if you can get the average rates for utilities like water and power. You could find a cheap place that isn't energy efficient and end up paying more in the long run!
Good luck with the moving and the 'moving in'!

Dolce said...

From a girl who moved out of her parents house and into an apartment with her then boyfriend: HEAVEN...after the first 6 months.

You'll wonder why you didn't move out sooner, but be prepared that living with a boyfriend is VERY different that with a roommate. There will be an adjustment period when you want to rip each other's hair out, but honestly, it's as much fun as college.

Alexa said...

congratulations!!! you need to start reading confessions of a cohabitant now (if you don't already)!! she's on my blog roll under cleveland bloggers : )

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

Okay I haven't read the comments above me due to lack of time, so I'll appologize in advance if I'm being repetitive.
Moving in together is a blaaaast. You should probably drop the worry about both living at home/separately until you can afford a house because renting together, while the money drain part sucks, is totally necessary. Living with someone 24/7 is a huge step, and it doesn't always work out (I'M SURE IT WILL FOR YOU!!). So living together in a rented space is a great way to start.

Be prepared for a bit of a change though. I've found that after a while of living together, we started arguing over things that DID NOT MATTER. What volume we watched the tv on. Who did the dishes. Why there is laundry EVERYWHERE. Just take a step back and laugh it off when these things come up, trust me, it worked for us and we don't argue over that stuff anymore..

Definitely plan somewhat of a budget. Who pays for what. What is shared, etc. No one wants to fight over fiancial issues, so if you have it set up from the start, it'll never become an issue. My girlfriend and I split EVERYTHING. From groceries to rent, tv, furniture. We've been together for 3.5 years and keep separate bank accounts and live 50/50. It works for us, but it doesn't work for everyone. She also makes A LOT more money than I do (she was blessed with the best job in the world) so we've had some of our friends critique her for not paying for more than I do.. But I don't mind. She's saving to buy a condo (where I'll get to live, so its a bonus for me) and I'm saving to buy a new car. We're in totally different ballparks..

So in all that, I wish you the best of luck. Living together is the best thing ever! I hope you love it!! =)

Michelle & the City said...

awe i'm excited for you! it is definitely a learning experience and just realize it's going to be a big change. my best advice? don't get wrapped up in being together every day, make sure to schedule time apart because it's so easy to get in a routine of day to day life and forget about your own life. if that makes sense.

i could probably elaborate more i.e. my current situation, so if you want more advice lemme know ;)

good luck to you guys! :)

Jenn said...

Yay! I love moving haha! Packing is my favorite park. I'm ridiculously organized when packing. My only advice, after reading some blogs of folks who just went through a move, is to remember where the important stuff is (i.e. ipods, laptops, etc.) One girl lost her ipod :(

Brandi Stone said...

OMG CONGRATS! moving in with your bf is the best thing. it's so much fun to live with your love and best friend. and to wake up every morning together.... EEEE!!

molly said...

wow that IS huge!! good luck!

Anitra said...

Like everyone else, I would say that communication is key, especially about budget and housework things. What has been working for Paul and I is to have clear boundaries as to who does what (he does the cooking, I do the cleaning); that way, I can't get mad at him for never cleaning the bathroom, since I'm supposed to do it. You two will definitely find your own way of working things out. So exciting! Have fun! And check Craigslist for furniture!

Lauren said...

Hey, good luck! That is exciting! As for decorations, I got most of my furniture from Ikea. It's...awesome.

surviving myself said...

He will leave the seat up, and no matter how many times you tell him not to, he will always forget.

So now knowing this, you can just not tell him at all!

Wickedly Scarlett said...

Target and Bed Bath and Beyond are perfect for the decorator on a budget :) I don't really have any advice on moving in together because I've never really thought it was all that difficult living with Colby. Just remember that not every day has to be sunshine and rainbows, and it's a good idea to schedule in some alone time every now and then!!

thatChick said...

yes bed bath & beyond is a mecca for new household items (i work there, so in the future if you ever need coupons, send me a little note...i'll help you out:-) has some pretty awesome home furnishings on the cheap...especially when you catch their clearance!!

yay happy house (or apt) hunting! i looooove real estate.

Auburn Kat said...

My biggest advice is to really read and understand the lease. You never know what can happen so understand what happens if you have to break the terms of the lease.

Allison M. said...

Two bathrooms saves us from countless fights. My BF is finally adjusting the girl products - the bronzer, flat iron, lotions galore, etc. If we shared a bathroom, I'd hate to see what he did when I left something on the counter.

(He's a neat freak.)

Dana said...

OK.. Take it from me!! I live with my boyfriend Brian.. We have been together for almost 7 years and just moved in together back in November.. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.... It is great being with each other; falling asleep and waking up together.... Just make sure he chips in around the house... I can't stand it when Brian leaves dishes in the sink! LOL... That's my only problem... But I would go for it... And besides I am a STRONG believer that you should live with someone before you marry... If you don't you may never know if you'd get along.. Because it is totally different living with someone! Go for it!!

Anonymous said...

squeeee!!!! so exciting! i once read this on a sign at a craft fair, and i fell in love with it, and when i get married and have a home, i want to find this sign and hang it in my house.

it says: "always kiss me goodnight."

(i think that's pretty damn good advice.)

xoxo, bb

Sarah Marie said...

Congrats! That's so exciting for you guys! Can't wait to see pics of the new place! Yes, like other ppl said-- you're gonna love it! It's so amazing and so much fun-- but you will have a ton of fights in the beginning-- i think that's why ppl say the first year of marriage is the hardest-- (when ppl never lived together until they got married.) You guys are so cute together-- you're gonna be great!

just me said...

I found 50% of my furniture there. They're as fast as the wind.

Anonymous said...

Oooh! that's super exciting!! Good luck sweetie!

nicoleantoinette said...

I didn't read the other comments, but I can imagine everyone has strong feelings on the living at home vs. living on your own vs. living with a boyfriend topic.

Personally, I cannot imagine ever living at home again and couldn't have gone back after college. No Way. But that's me. I've been living on my own and paying for myself for, like, ever, so it's just second nature. I think independence is really important, particularly two people having and appreciating their independence in order to better appreciate each other/their relationship.

All of that to say, go for it! You and Matt seem to be great together and would no doubt make excellent roommates- but beware, no matter how much time you currently spend together, living with someone is a huge change.

Check out places like IKEA for furniture etc. It also helps to sit down and talk about what you want the apt. to look like in the end, so you can slowly work toward it and not wind up with a lot of random mismatched ugly shit, haha.

Finally, if you go forward with this, make sure you still get some alone time- it's a necessity.

ps- I'm currently living in my 16th house/apt, so I know all there is to know about moving. Hit me up, I'm here for ya :)

Anonymous said...

Girl, if you wait til you have have enough money, it ain't never gonna happen. Just jump in.


glamour girly said...

Definitely go for it! Congratulations! I bet you are so pumped about not living at home. Good luck with finding a place!

Playful Professional said...

That's awesome and exciting. A couple of tips... check out IKEA (if there is one near you) for cheap furniture or Ross, Marshalls, etc. Also, learn how to get free stuff from CVS. You never really think about how much the little stuff (toothpaste, toilet paper, soap, dishsoap, etc.) adds up until you start buying it yourself. You can get it all for free (I do) from CVS with no effort at all. It can save you a lot of money so maybe you can eat things other than Ramen once in a while.

L Sass said...

Living on your own is the BEST feeling and worth the money, in my opinion.

In addition to IKEA (of course) and other discount stores, I actually get a lot of nice stuff on sale at big department stores (Macy's). Their Martha Stewart stuff goes on sale ALL the time. Of course, if you don't have that girly aesthetic, you might not dig it, but you really can get great deals on quality stuff.

Lexiloo said...

Super exciting and congrats! I don't live with my boyfriend, personal choice, so I can't offer any personal advice, but sounds like the other have said some pretty true things.

Target also has some fun and inexpensive furnishings sometimes!

{kay} said...

congrats! what a big step-very exciting.

tips: (1)when you're looking at rentals make sure there are no rodents (of course!) cupbaord doors and stuff to see if there are *ahem* droppings hidden in the corner..a total tell-ale sign (2)make sure windows close properly (3)make sure fire alarm is in working condition-ask I guess (4)ask other people in the building their thoughts on it - i find they are usually honest (5)does the building have laundry? is that important to you (6)what kind of building access is it-access code or can anyone walk in-do you care?


Angie hearts said...


u can always try craiglist for some really cheap furniture! just have to dig through it~

good luck with everything!!

Princess Pointful said...

Awesome news!!!
With regards to advice, I probably have a ton...
When looking at apartments, have a secret code between the two of you about whether you like it or hate it, because you often don't get a moment alone to talk before you have to decide to fill out an application form.

Figure out all the crap like bills and cleaning routines early, because what you assume to be normal and natural may be anything but for him!

Make sure you get quality time together. People often make the mistake of thinking that when they move in together, they see each other all the time, so they don't need to schedule things. However, you want to make sure to always have date times/movie nights.
But don't become one of those homebody ditch your friend couples, either!

Haha, I'll shut up now...

Julie Q said...

congrats!!! thats so exciting :)

rialeilani said...

Congrats to both of you! Just remember it will take some time to adjust to each others little quirks :)

Fabulously Broke said...


1. Work out how you want to deal with finances. I don't suggest joint accounts. But maybe when bills come in (alternate between having him have one bill and you another), and then sit down together and split the bill in half unless he spent $30 on something that's really HIS

Work out the bills aspect and the financials too

2. Work out sleeping times - some people are early risers (me) while ex-bfs were not

3. Work out chores or else you'll feel resentful :)