Thursday, July 16, 2009

Wedding don'ts.

So after watching TODAY Throws a Wedding yesterday I've realized that although Matt and I haven't done much planning to our own wedding I know there are some things that will just not be happening.
  • My hair will not look like this:



    Seriously!? How could she let the hair stylist do that to her? And her makeup was a little much I thought. I guess when you leave your wedding in the hands of a TV show that's what could happen. But yeah no way will my hair be that high up, if up at all. No thank you.

  • We will not be honeymooning in Australia (as nice as it would be), but seriously? Audience that voted on Australia as their honeymoon destination did you forget that it's Winter there, Winter?!?? Yeah my honeymoon will not be spent in a place where the high is 60 degrees, I'll pass on that one.

  • The Macarena? I don't think so. Conga line? No thanks. YMCA? Ummm Perhaps.

  • Magenta. Fuchsia. Lavender. Light Pink. Pastels. None of it. Now don't get me wrong I don't hate any of those colors and I think it looks lovely in some weddings, just not ours.

  • Kidlets. As much as I love the youngins, they won't be at our wedding. I'm making the cut off age the age of my youngest brother, 13. So yeah that's still kid age, but no bebes or toddlers of the sort. I just want the parents that do come to have a good time (and hello babysitters are awesome) and I don't want a crying kid during the ceremony.

  • High heels. Well for me at least, I'll let my bridal party decide on what they'd like to do, but I will be rockin either some ballerina flats or my trademark look of flip flops. I mean it just wouldn't be right otherwise.

  • Doves. Swans. No flying creatures of any kind.

  • Open mic. Yeah there won't be an open mic at our wedding because if that was the case the reception would never start. A select few will be able to say their parts but after that, the mic will go away.


We do have our 'wedding do' list too, but I'll save that one for another post. And what's on your don'ts list? Anything you just won't have?


*updated to add: I don't mean this post to offend anyone. This is just what I don't want, and if you had it and loved it then good for you. Everyone is different right? I'm just saying, some of this stuff just isn't for me*

happy thursday!

54 comments:

weezermonkey said...

We went to Australia for our honeymoon in the "winter." It was awesome. I wore tank tops and tube tops much of the time, and, when I didn't, the "winter" was like our L.A. winter.

In other words, awesome.

And the we had fuchsia we had in our wedding was awesome, too. :P

Chatabox Girl said...

Australia isn't so bad! This is coming from one of it's residents :)

I live on the Shine Coast (real name) and it truly lives up to its name. Being a New Zealand expat, this place is stunning.

I agree with the no birds and no kids tho. Urgh. Who would want either ruining the wedding?

Anonymous said...

and being a bridezilla begins.

Lara said...

OMG, you read my mind about EVERY SINGLE THING!

I wore ballerina flats at our wedding and I was so glad, because I was standing up for most of the day.

My brother started a conga line when he was drunk; I was in no way responsible for that one.

We got pressured into letting kids to our wedding, because a friend we desperately wanted there said he couldn't find a sitter. In the end we let kids come. In the end HE didn't come. And we were lumbered with kids at our wedding. But we were lucky enough to have total silence at our ceremony!

Another thing we refused point blank to have was the whole shoving-cake-in-your-spouse's-face thing. God, I hate that. But in the UK it's not really done (phew!)

I didn't want to throw my bouquet. People asked why I didn't throw it, and I said because I thought it was too traditional for us ;)

We didn't want long drawn out speeches. My dad spoke; said a few funny things; and then I thanked everyone for coming on behalf of my husband and I. That was it, and it worked well. Nobody got bored, which is what we were dreading.

I'm so excited for you; you're going to have such a great day!

Have a look at my blog for a few of our wedding photos, if you haven't already :)

Rachel said...

I didn't see this show, but I agree with you. What were these people thinking?

MH said...

Hehehe - knowing what you don't want is a great place to start...
Let me just tell you, about children... they were NOT invited for my wedding. My cutoff age was also 13, because of a cousin and a friend's daughter (whom i adore). BUT some parents just don't get it. There were lots of children at my wedding. Toddlers, about 5. When we started our first dance, my mom was trying to get the little girls out of the dance floor, asking their parents to take them. AND some clueless parents had their young kids sitting on chairs that were there for OUR guests, it was a nightmare for the staff, they actually had to ask them to pick their kids up and have them on their laps during dinner, there were just not enough chairs. So, hope your guests are better at respecting your wishes and the names on the invitations... My reasons to leave kids out were the same as yours - no crying, no running, and friends having FUN at the reception, being able to dance and enjoy themselves. But later some actually said they can't have fun leaving their kids behind. I dont get it, but that's what happened...
Just thought I'd share, so maybe you can find a way to make your wish very clear! :-)
good luck with that!

Lexilooo said...

I'm totally with you on the age limit for children! I don't want them at my wedding (with certain exceptions, ie. Steve's nephews and my godson), but he doesn't want to restrict people from bringing their children! I know this will be an issue when our time comes...

kay* said...

great list. it's good to know what you definitely do and don't want. i'm nowhere close to getting married but agree with you on many of the points (music, no kids, honeymoon in warmth..) except for maybe fuschia - i love that colour :)
my other don't? anything that is done simply because 'that's the way it's normally done.' if it doesn't make sense for me [us] then no thank you.
p.s. I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all!

Allison M. said...

Can i be a guest at your wedding because it sounds awesome!

Please don't wear your hair in any weird ways. You have those pictures to look for awhile.

And the thought of never dancing to a line dance is so exciting.

If I ever choose to get married and have a DJ or band, if they play the macrena, we are family, electric slide or the YMCA, I will it written in their contract that they will not be paid.

luvleighgurl said...

I have heard a friend say she doesn't want kids at her wedding...and I always saw it as kind of diva-ish....BUT.... I just went to a couple of weddings in the past month, and now I can see why I would be annoyed with little kids. You make a good point, HOW ARE THE ADULTS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME IF THEY'RE TOO FOCUSED ON THEIR KIDS?
The more I think about it-the more I like the idea... :)

Lacey Bean said...

Haha I love this - did a similar post when we first got engaged when I was pissed that every venue tried to push us into a cookie cutter wedding. We wont have kids under 13 (Im sorry its a Saturday night wedding... Dave's nephews will be there but thats it.) I don't want the bridal party making a teepee for us to walk under when we walk in, I'm not walking down the aisle to a traditional song, the bridesmaid dresses dont match (much to the chagrin of Dave's sister) and I'm sure there's more haha.

wekeepsaying said...

they had live birds at the wedding? what the heck? sounds like a zoo!

if and when i get married, it's going to be so laid back and fun, i don't want any hoity toity stuff.

ablogofherown.wordpress.com said...

We will not be having a big expensive bad tasting wedding cake.
We will not be having a garter/bouquet toss.
We will *probably* not be having favors (what are we throwing? A ten year old's birthday party?)
We will not be doing the cake smashing, the electric slide, or any other participation dances.

:-)

kaitlinmarieshafer said...

I just eloped in La Jolla and got married on the beach. Better than anything I could have imagined.

Anonymous said...

I agree, bridezilla begins.

chill girl.
and you have to at least wear heels for the ceremony. Balerina shoes can be worn for the reception.
you have to look different on your wedding day. and I do hope you plan on wearing a bit of makeup at least. LOOK DIFFERENT for your wedding..

The Novelista Barista said...

LOL my hair will def. not look like that!!!

Andhari said...

Girlie, Australia is awesome. Well maybe not the place to go during winter but no places are appropriate if you don't want honeymooning in the cold :)

ps. pink and bright colors are nice but I agree with you, you want classier colors :)

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

ok but here's the kicker...

would you include all of the stuff if it was all FREE??? like on the today show??

Hillary said...

I didn't want kids at our wedding either. Only one person was mad about it (and ended up not coming because of it.) Most people are pretty understanding.

Jen said...

Ok, I'm going to go against the majority and suggest that you DO have the chicken dance. Now, I know it is incredibly cheesy, but hear me out. I have my reasons...

http://dailymishmash.com/2008/ode-to-the-chicken-dance/

I agree with everything else on your "don't" list. I'm sure your wedding will be amazing!

Ali said...

That's a good "don't" list, if I do say so myself.

sarah marie p said...

You should totally rock the flip flops! They're so YOU and your wedding should be about YOU and Matt! I wore cute white flats on my wedding and I'm so glad I did because heels are so not me - I can't walk in them and they also make me taller than John! Can't wait to see what you choose for your wedding!

J said...

Weddings aren't just about the happy couple. Weddings are also for your friends and family to share in your day and have a good time.

The "cheesy" songs like the Macarena, the YMCA, the Chicken Dance, the hokey pokey: GET PEOPLE ON THE DANCE FLOOR! Some ONLY go out on the dance floor for those songs.

As for children, of course everyone wants their ceremony to be perfect and not have screaming children and what not but at the end of the day that just isn't realistic.

You are alienating people by having an age limit especially when some children at 7 or 8 or whatever age are more mature than people over the age limit.

Some people won't even bother to come if they can't bring their children. Some people (especially right now) can't afford to get a babysitter or some can afford it and won't be able to. Some simply want to bring their children to occasions like this and are offended if they can't bring them.

The reality is: some people SHOULD get a babysitter but won't. However, there are families that have children that can behave at these kind of events. And a couple that just had a baby probably won't come if they can't bring the newborn (even if newborns shouldn't be out at weddings).

And there are people, like me, who wouldn't go to a wedding if it said children weren't allowed or put an age limit and I don't even have any because I love watching children at receptions and I think it is ridiculously rude and over-inclusive to do such a thing.

I guess my general point is, I think you should reconsider your "don'ts" to be a little bit more flexible. This wedding is about you for sure, but it's not just for you or you wouldn't have invited any guests.

Do you really want people walking away from your wedding saying it was boring? Or wishing they hadn't gone to it? Or even worse, ruining a relationship with someone based on the kids limitation? People get very offended by these kinds of things and at the end of the day, it won't matter that it was your wedding day.

Ev`Yan || apricot tea. said...

Katelin, don't listen to these opinionated comments & "bridezilla" remarks. Please don't. I think this list is PERFECT. Why? Because it's YOUR wedding. It's what YOU & your husband to be want & there is nothing wrong with that. I LOATHE it when people create their weddings to suffice their guests, & their parents, & their friends. Since when does a wedding become about other people? Seriously, kudos to the both of you for not falling into the silly frame of thinking that you have to please others, & not yourself. You have my utmost respect!

& for the record: most of everything on this list I agree with. Especially the part with the kids.

Grits said...

Couldn't agree more on the 'no kids' rule. My mom thought it was a little stiff, but I'm glad we didn't invite any. We had a few show up anyways, but they were well behaved so I didn't complain.
Also, I agree on the honeymoon. My one request for the honeymoon was 'somewhere warm' and 'possibly tropical' so it would feel more like a real escape!
Good luck with all the planning!

Lacey Bean said...

Im getting really mad reading some of these anonymous comments on your blog!! You dont *HAVE* to do anything! There's no rules for weddings! Walk down the damn aisle barefoot if you want! Wear makeup/dont wear makeup/wear clown paint if thats what you want! I just tried on my dress and I'm not wearing a veil with it! OH NO!! THE HORROR!!

I just dont understand people who think you have to adhere to certain traditions or ideas regarding weddings. You do what YOU and MATT want, because its YOUR wedding.

<3

Sorry for the rant, but it made me mad!!

Steph said...

Woah. One thing I don't miss about wedding planning is how everyone has an opinion and thinks their opinion is right. (re comments above)

However your wedding turns out, however you decide to throw the party, etc. that day you really couldn't care less about the little things.

We had kids, but there weren't many. The engagement party we tried to do adults only but no one listened and we ended up with like ten kids at our wine tasting party. yeah, nice huh.

As for hokey songs, we forbade them and people were still on the dance floor. If you are out there, if there is alcohol, people will dance. You do NOT have to play cheesy music.

I think all the items on your list are completely reasonable, non-bridezilla-ish, and anyone saying otherwise is just upset because they wished they could have had things go their way but they didn't.

<3 it will be such a wonderful day

steph anne said...

Wtf to the anonymous comments. I don't even think you're close to being a bridezilla at all!

Bridezillas don't let their bridal party choose the shoes they want to wear.

It's YOUR day and it shall be awesome & beautiful! =)

Gerty said...

I agree with almost your entire list! Though I will be in heels at my wedding- and most likely in a ton of pain! You are definitely not being a bridezilla! You just know what you do and dont want and that is a good thing!

Anonymous said...

I think that you should do what you want for your wedding. With that said I think it is fairly obvious that you don't have kids or have any close friends that have kids. As a mom I wouldn't go to a wedding that didn't allow my children to go. Of the many weddings I have been to some of the best and cute memories were of the children there.

Chris said...

RE: the second Anon comment...why would you want to look different for your wedding? Isn't it YOU that's getting married? Isn't Matt marrying YOU? WTF Anon?! Also, please ignore the other negative comments. It is YOUR wedding. Don't want kids there? Don't have them there. It's not that big a deal. Anyone who gets offended probably isn't a real friend.

So excited for you!!!

Chris said...

Oh wait, and you HAVE to wear high heels? IS THIS REAL? Wear whatever the eff you want! I wore sneakers and was happy as a clam! (Why does everyone say that? Why do we think clams are overly happy?)

Lauren said...

That girls hairstyle is perfect...for girls in Texas. It is huge!

I'm all for letting the bridal party wear what they want as well, shoewise. And, oh man, NO to open mic. Drunk people and microphones do not get along. (Yes to drinking at my wedding, by the way).

For me, the Cha Cha Slide is REQUIRED (due to memories attached to it), but no to all the others.

Angela Noelle said...

Hey, it's YOUR and MATT'S wedding. Don't let anyone else tell you that what you want is wrong. I think it's great that you have opinions and your wedding will be perfect for the two of YOU!

amanda said...

i love her hair. haha.

i am so with you on the babies. they are adorbs and all, but not at a wedding. umm...and yeah, no flying of any thing!

mm, i love it when you do wedding talk!

AquaSass said...

Im not a huge fan of kids either...but what about nieces and cousins....Im going to have to alow them. Unless I do a destination wedding, which is entirely possible....

Bayjb said...

i always feel bad for those TODAY show brides because they have to smile and look happy even when they pick the crappy dress or hairstyle for them. I want a free wedding but definitely not that bad!

Auburn Kat said...

That's the great things about weddings, the bride and groom go do whatever the heck they want to! =)

Allison M. said...

my last thought. Be a bridezilla and own it.

Nicole said...

I'm with the 98% who say it's your wedding, do what the heck you want to with it! Why do you HAVE to wear heels? Who of all your friends and family is going to care if you don't? Your feet will thank you, that's for sure!
I completely understand about the kids thing as well. My sister dragged her two very young children to my other sister's wedding and when you watch the vid, all you can hear is those two kids screaming. Not ideal!
I think it's a great list. And I'm thinking people have the wrong idea of what a bridezilla is.

MH said...

hehehe
I had to come back... when I was planning my wedding, I kept telling people I was getting MARRIED, not changing into a completely different person. So be yourself! I had no traditional songs at the ceremony - it was so "us", people loved it! The 20 kids and 5 toddlers were annoying, I dont get parents who cant have fun without their kids there, but if you invite people you love and who know you, you wont lose any friends!

I'm so sure your wedding will be perfect FOR YOU, enjoy the planning and have fun!

emrlds said...

her hair hurt my eyes, seriously. i'm completely with you on this list. good luck planning! =)

SimplyValorie said...

Good for you, knowing what you DON'T want! I'm right there with you on the pinks and purples for my wedding -- they can be pretty, but they make me look washed out. It's MY day, I would like to look good.

CageQueen said...

Man, those two anonymous comments were pretty shitty. Why do you HAVE to look diff on your wedding day? Poor Matt, can you imagine you get to the top of the aisle and look nothing like yourself? Wear what you think looks best, and what you will feel most comfortable in to enjoy your special time. My husband is short so I wore flats. Those two comments are so lame and pathetic; spoken like two people who have never planned or attended a wedding. So unrealistic. The fact that you would even have to quantify, on your own blog, that it is just what YOU want is asinine. It doesn't matter if the rest of the world agrees or not-it's YOUR day so do what feels good. We had magenta in our wedding (as inspired by Weezermokey, actually!) and I loved it and not one bit of me was insulted when I read that you don't want it. People take themselves way too seriously. I'd disallow anoynmous comments, LOL. Have fun. You are going to look great and it will be so much fun!! Even without birds shitting on the guests, LOL.

LiLu said...

Dear all the Anonymous who are too chickenshit to leave a name with their hate:

Get a spine.

No, wait, first:

A life.

Love,

LiLu

La Petite Belle said...

i think it's great that you know what you want. that's really important when planning something as important as a wedding.

Andrea said...

Dude. I'm SHOCKED. I knew you were having some problems with commenters, but I'm totally blown away. I almost don't want to dignify it by addressing it, but I just have to say... no one is forcing anyone to read your PERSONAL blog with your PERSONAL opinions... and these commenters are forcing their PERSONAL opinions down your throat. Which I find pretty hypocritical.

Anyway, Katelin, your wedding will be beautiful and, most of all, FUN, because that's just what you and Matt are. I don't expect anything less. P.S. please don't wear heels. Especially since you're like me and you never wear heels, because it'll HURT. No one wants to hurt on their big day.

closetsareforclothes said...

it's great when a bride can make the weddiing as "her" as possible. and what could be more KATELIN than flipflops?! hello! rock it, girlfriend!

*~Dani~* said...

Knowing what you want and don't want is a great way to start planning. Makes things easier.

I also agree with the others that says you should look like YOU at your wedding. My husband was freaked out with the thought that I would have seven layers of makeup on because I was getting it done. I have never stressed "natural" so much in my life. It turned out perfect and he didn't even notice I was wearing any. Since you don't wear makeup on an every day basis, I think something natural would also look perfect on you.

Of course, that decision, and all others are yours :)

jamie said...

Anonymous commenters need to get out of here.

It is YOUR wedding. You can do what you want. So whatever, you're wedding will be amazing. I'm sure of it!

*jimaie.marie* said...

anonymous is an idiot...WHY(?!) would you want to look completely different at your wedding? that makes absolutely no sense!
YOU know what you want in your wedding, YOU know what would make that day over the top amazingly special for YOU, follow your heart and stomp on the haters who try to throw their nonesense in your way. Your wedding is going to be amazing and I can't imagine it being any other way :)

Nanette said...

Chiming in late but wanted to echo the others who said that it's your big day, do what ya want. :)

And as a mom, I'm totally fine not bringing Em to a formal event like a wedding. It wouldn't hurt my friendship with any bride who didn't want children at their event. :)

Anonymous said...

The whole point in weddings are to look fancier than you do, you are being a Bridezilla, you have your right to an opinion, let others have there tight to say how they feel, short of discrimination and cander

Kiki said...

hi love, late to the anonymous-hating party, but i just wanted to say that the minute (ok, maybe a few minutes after) i found out you were engaged one of my very first thoughts was "please oh please, kate, don't put on a ton of makeup or where your hair different or try to walk in heels." seriously. this is what i thought.

because i love you, we love you, matt loves you the way you are, every day. yes, your wedding should be different in that all of your friends and family are actually together, and that you're wearing white, and that you eat and drink to excess, but dear sweet lord, LOOK like yourself. and be comfortable. we've all seen the horror stories: the beautiful brides who get their makeup professionally done and look like they're 40. don't do that. otherwise i'll be forced to interrupt your walk down the aisle with some eye makeup remover. don't think i won't!

oh, and just to the other readers out there, i'm not anti-makeup or fanciness. on my special day i will be as done up as texas, but that's me. not katelin.