Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Why I couldn't be in Cirque Du Soleil.

Lately I've been seeing all these commercials for Cirque Du Soleil's Kooza and how it's at Santa Monica and ummm I really want to go! Remember, I love Cirque shows. But then it got me thinking about how insane it would be to actually be in a Cirque show and how there is no way I could ever pull it off. So similar to why I couldn't be a criminal, there are plenty of reasons why I couldn't be in a Cirque show.

1. I'm so not bendy. I can't even do a freaking cartwheel. So I definitely couldn't pull off this move. Or this one.

2. On top of not being bendy like, my balance is awful so there'd be no way to do something as crazy as this.

3. I'm 5'9'' so I'm pretty sure I'm a good five inches over the maximum height of anyone in the shows.

4. Although I've sky dived and love rollercoasters I'm quite afraid of heights and would probably scream if I had to run on big wheels or swing from a high flying trapeze.

5. As we already know, I don't wear a lot of makeup, so painting my face on a nightly basis would probably make me break out in hives or something. And knowing my luck I'd end up with glitter in my eyes and permanently green hair or something, haha.

6. I'm pretty clumsy. Not good on sets that require precision and accuracy and not tripping.

7. I'm not a very strong swimmer which would be pretty clutch for O I hear.

8. Now don't shoot me but I'm not an uber Beatles fan which I feel would be a necessity to participate/enjoy being in LOVE, so that's a no go for me.

9. I can only stay in Las Vegas for so long, so doing shows there forever and ever would totally not fly. I'd have to be in one of the moving shows, but then again that'd be too much traveling. Man I'm such a whiner.

10. I don't think Matt would be too keen on me having sex on stage a la Zumanity, haha.

I know there's got to me more reasons but those are just the ones I can think of for now. But just because I can't be in Cirque doesn't mean I don't still love it. So come on now, who's going to get me Kooza tickets? Or send me to Vegas to see O? Cause yeah that'd be amazing.

jumping onto a big bed?

yeah maybe I could do that, haha.

Could you be in a Cirque show or are you just as unbendy as I am, haha?

happy wednesday!


Jane said...

I am bendy (or at least I used to be, before I started getting old) but I am SO CLUMSY. Also, I'm terrified of heights. So I probably couldn't do any Cirque du Soleil. But I love watching other people do it. I think the fact that I'm so completely inept myself just makes me appreciate them more.

San said...

I love Cirque de Soleil... the shows are amazing, but I could NEVER EVER be in a show myself, for a lot of the same reasons that you stated! ;)

theycallmecurlysue said...

I used to be pretty flexible---while on the dance team I could do a high kick and hit my knee to my nose if I wasn't careful! I have excellent balance and if I know what I'm supposed to do then I'm not a klutz aka it's choreographed. But just walking through the house I can trip on carpet! But everything else I couldn't do HAHA I've always wanted to see a Cirque show but they are so expensive to go to! One day I'll go :)

nory said...

heehee, this post is great.

Um, I can bend and I do have balance but I'm the same height you are so I'm sure they wouldn't welcome me in with open arms to be in the troupe. I don't know if I have the concentration needed to hold a lot of the poses they do, though. They are so intense & focused, I'm not sure if I can be like that! =)

We Are Not Martha said...

Te bed part does look fun! But like you, I cannot for the life of me do a cartwheel, so they'd take one look at me and laugh their butts off!! I do enjoy watching Cirque though :)


alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i can still do a cartwheel - does that count?

nicoleantoinette said...

But Zumanity is SO AWESOME. Totally worth learning how to do a cartwheel/wearing makeup/shrinking/getting a new fiance for.

Taylor-made Wife said...

Ran across your blog from Little Miss Obsessicve. I love this post!
I was gymnast for years, but I was never bendy (I was a power house). I always felt that my coaches tortured me by ripping my legs in all different directions...We saw O last time we were in Vegas and I loved it. It was awe-inspiring, but really funny too!

Princess Pointful said...

Love this post!
I am very very unbendy. And even more lacking in coordination.
I remember how painful the gymnastic routines we used to do in PE were.
Other girls' routines: Backflip, somersault, front flip.
Mine: Hop one one foot, hop on the other, walk backwards, and maybe a single somersault. Ugh.

OceanDreams said...

You could sneak in with me...I am going to Kooza this Sat and I cannot wait! Yipee! I know, I could not be a apart of Kooza either, I definitely not that flexible. I don't think I would want to be either, lol. Stay tuned for my pictures of this event after this weekend! XO!

Ali said...

A friend of mine is going to the SM one and I am so jealous! I've always wanted to go to one. But be in one? Hell to the no! Haha, I could never. Sometimes, I think the performers aren't human.

Mandy said...

I am not a big fan of heights and I am not very bendy either. I think it would be wicked cool to be an performer in one of the shows though.

savor - silence - savor - cin said...

haha. loved this post.

just so you know, my husband is not much of a Beatles fan... and he loved... LOVE. He even bought the soundtrack.

if you do go, I hope you write a review about it!

Allie O. said...

That was my dream job around age 14. If only...